02.24
Nervousness is a natural response to new situations that encourages us to proceed at a slow rate to heighten our awareness. I find it ridiculous that some people are advocates of curing nervousness when it is good for you (it is telling you something and if you listen, it will help you). I also find it ridiculous that some people also talk about controlling nervousness — you can only control how you respond to nervousness. You can learn to ignore it, however, you will also be ignoring what it is telling you, and what it tells you develops your wisdom, which is a silly thing to prevent. Instead of doing something that will harm you in the long run, make nervousness your friend and use it to your advantage.
"Pirates of the Sky" aerialists act, performing on the Wheel of Death at the 2008 New York State Fair. Photographer: Dave Pape.
Please keep in mind what I mean by new situations. One exposure to a new situation never replaces nervousness with confidence. Each situation contains many smaller experiences, much like a maze has many pathways, and you need to build your experience with each to increase your confidence through trial and error. This you can easily achieve by trusting yourself and knowing nervousness intimately. Just keep reading and you discover all you need to know.
In this post, you will learn:
- how nervousness is supposed to work
- how nervousness becomes bastardized
- how to respond to sudden nervousness
- how to prepare for anticipated nervousness
- the consequences of ignoring nervousness
caveat emptor
Nervousness and anxiety are treated as being one in the same by Wikipedia, however, I find nervousness sounds to be gentler than anxiety. We can go to the other side of anxiety to the realm of anxiety disorder.
This post is about nervousness and it provides inspiration for the simple aspects in life like taking tests, dating, interviews and so on. If anxiety troubles you more than this, this is not the right place to get inspiration. With my limited experience, I can only suggest tht you visit the above anxiety disorder link.
how nervousness is supposed to work
The purpose of nervousness is to heighten your awareness and it encourages you to proceed gradually so that you can recognize every aspect of the experience. For example, when you really want to have a date with with someone your motivation makes you listen to your nervousness so you proceed with care and succeed in the end.
the bastardization of nervousness
The purpose of nervousness becomes bastardized when the motivation is absent. Imagine, for example, you had to write ten tests in subjects you were not passionate about over the next ten days and only for the benefit of others to judge your performance. The what’s in it for me is absent and that leads you to two options:
- obey the dictatorship (motivation is absent)
- find some personal motivation that makes you excited
This happens to everyone when they have no choice, like many students from Kindergarten to grade eight. And further, many people in this age group don’t know how to achieve the second option which means they have to obey the dictatorship. Without motivation, the mindset changes from I’ll proceed with care to I’m doomed, and this is self doubt. Now, check out what happens next:
- Self doubt makes you question your ability
- Questioning your ability becomes a habit to question yourself in other situations
- Questioning yourself leads to a lack of confidence
- A lack of confidence creates hesitation
- Hesitation prevents the gaining of experience (that would naturally increase your confidence), which produces a downward spiral
If you find yourself in a dictatorship (like an abusive relationship or something else with no or confusing motivation), seek help from a counsellor. Nervousness in the absence of motivation is telling you to get out of the situation. The dictatorship is forcing you to comply and that is not healthy for you.
If you are in some other situation, like in meetings, interviews, presentations, and so on, the following two sections will give you what you need to correct this problem.
how to respond to sudden nervousness
Pow. You are immediately faced with a new situation which requires you to act now. What do you do?
- recognize the nervousness (this will help you prepare for the next step)
- take a deep breath, continue the experience and take greater control of the experience (you will be alright and you will get better with practice)
Be devoted to recognizing nervousness, taking a deep breath (it acts like a reset) and continuing the experience. This will replace your bad habit with the natural habit you need.
how to prepare for anticipated nervousness
When you know you will experience a new situation that will trigger nervousness, the best thing to do is prepare yourself for it. Your preparation is like role playing and through this effort, you discover most, if not all, of the twists and turns you might face. The result is great confidence in yourself.
How do you prepare yourself? It depends on your experience so you will have to discover your own path. Just remember the following:
- What motivates you (so you don’t accidentally bastardize nervousness).
- Practice.
- Nervousness will come. Take a deep breath, continue the experience and take greater control of the experience.
Through repetition, both in practice and in the real experience, nervousness will change from being the devil with the fork to the angel with a beer in the cooler. It will still be there for you though it will be on your side. Now that is a good habit to have.
the consequences of ignoring nervousness
The above is all you really need to know, but I’m inquisitive and I imagine you are too. So, lets learn about the consequences of ignoring nervousness.
There have been a few times in my life that I’ve met someone who has ignored nervousness altogether. If I could use one word to describe them, it would be obnoxious (I really don’t want to offend but honesty has its way). Let me explain.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, nervousness, is a natural behaviour to new situations. We all have these two choices to deal with nervousness:
- accept nervousness and develop our wisdom
- ignore nervousness and cause our wisdom to shrivel
By ignoring nervousness, a person can make it disappear altogether though the person also ignoring the valuable information that it is telling us. One thing that stands out for me is that obnoxious people overlook the feelings of other people. There is more but I’m going no further for it is more important to focus on future success.
Also read
“For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” Alexander Pope
“If you’re not just a little bit nervous before a match, you probably don’t have the expectations of yourself that you should have.” Hale Irwin
“The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.” Shana Alexander
“I’m always nervous before I go on stage, but once I’m out there everything is great and it’s my favorite place to be.” Christina Aguilera
“Activity of the nervous system improves the capacity for activity, just as exercising a muscle makes it stronger.” Dr. Ralph Gerard
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You are very lucky in that you don’t know what true anxiety is. Going by your description, nervousness is nothing but the lack of motivation and character that can be eliminated by following a few simple steps and following through. It’s like telling someone with an ailment that you don’t have, to “stop being a wuss.” Simply put—because you don’t have or recognize a specific condition or complaint, it really doesn’t exist and can be overcome by simple repetitions or scoldings.
You are right, I haven’t suffered the worst that the world can throw at a person, however, I have had nervousness control most of my life.
You made me see that my blog’s context — inspiration for the next phase of a students life (a career) — is absent in this message. I’ve made a few minor tweaks to the message and a key change in the ‘bastardized’ section. Beyond this, I feel what was absent made a message for the wrong audience appear like the right message.
Please reread the post because the lack of motivation leads to the bastardization of nervousness — I never said the lack of motivation produces nervousness. Also note that early on I say that nervousness should never be ignored as it develops your wisdom — I’ve said nothing about eliminating nervousness. I’m not sure how these were miss-interpreted so if you can reply with an explanation, I will fix the post.
Thanks for your feedback.
I agree with the first comment above. An over simplified and somewhat ill informed article.
I do thank you for your comment. I have added the ‘caveat emptor’ section as it seems that this post is receiving views from an audience that is not my target audience.
“…over simplified…” Yes. This is a blog, which is no place for a research paper. If I manage to inspire 10%, is that bad?
Regarding your ill informed comment, it is impossible for me to be ill informed about what has helped me to use nervousness to my advantage. Never-the-less, two visitors have expected more from this post so I endevour to target the post at my intended audience.
Please continue to send me your criticisms, though try to be constructive at the same time. Cite something specific. If you feel like bashing me instead, go for it. I’ve developed thick skin.